moving forward

navigating through the life that was and moving into the life that is

Monday – 10 PM

on December 5, 2011

With the children off to school and daycare, a good part of the day was spent organizing the house and trying to reboot the life Sandra left behind a month ago.

There have been a great many people over the past month who stepped in to help keep Alana and Cameron’s daily routine on track. But at best it was patchwork and any semblance of a routine was almost non-existent. They stayed with Uncle Jim, Aunt Margot and with good friends, all of whom did their very best to provide as much comfort, support and consistency as possible. The variety was distracting but, at the end of a month, the kids were displaying the results of displacement. So we’re trying to do everything we can to get them back into the normal routine. It is difficult, however, because Glen was the one who took care of all the morning chores; getting them fed, dressed and off to their respective schools. Now we need to establish some new patterns. It’s difficult for the kids and it shows from time to time. Cameron has latched onto me, Uncle Tom and Uncle Mike as surrogate father figures because he can’t verbalize how much he misses his daddy. He has been slow to reconnect with mommy but it’s getting better every day. Alana is a very mature 6-year-old, but the strain of mommy being gone for a month has shown up there too. Sandra isn’t physically or emotionally able to do all the nurturing she was accustomed to either. It will get better with each day.

The nurse came in the afternoon and did wound-care and started setting up the therapy that will take place at home. Mom is giving her the shots of blood thinner and administering all the meds.

One day at a time.


5 responses to “Monday – 10 PM

  1. stefoni says:

    Thank yall for still keeping us posted. Its so great to open my email n getting updates. Still n will always be in my prayers. Sandra u are still a strong women. U CAN DO IT we are all here for u.

  2. Caroline Martin says:

    Thinking of you all during this healing and transition process. What a wonderful family you are and how blessed Sandra and the kids are to have you all there each step of the way. Sending love and prayers to all of you.
    Caroline Hatty Martin
    (Sandra’s Friend from WMU)
    (and thanks so much for keeping us all posted on her progress 🙂 )

  3. Louise Edison says:

    Doug, this is Louise “Punky” Edison from Grand Rapids. Son David passed along the horrific news of Sandy and Glen’s accident a few weeks ago and I have been reading your blog, praying daily for your family ever since. I am so very, very sorry for all the losses your family has experienced. My (fairly) new brother-in-law is Mike Pemberton, so I guess that’s another connection. Your last post about the children is what inspired me to write. For 8 years of my career I worked at our Gilda’s Club and we had a children’s grief program. While Gilda’s Club is about a cancer journey, we opened up our grief program to children and their families grieving any kind of death. I cannot tell you the powerful impact we saw for children to realize they were not alone in having a family member (sibling, parent, grandparent) die. Grief impacts children so differently from adults, as you have already observed. I can tell you have lots of support and resources and research and reading. Just wanted to encourage you to look for a children’s grief center in Atlanta — even if it’s for a year from now. Here is the Gilda’s Club website (which is local to GR),but might give you some information about why we do what we do. I do not work there any more, but would help in any way I can. Blessings.

  4. Karyn says:

    This is all too familiar for me…Our family lived through this too. I am here with you all and pray for you daily. If there is anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask. God bless you all. It is a long walk but I promise you will get through it. We are just now coming out of the fog. It’s going to be better.

  5. Jessica Deresch says:

    Thank you for the updates, I was wondering about the Meal Train- I signed up for it, but the dates were already full. My family and I would like to know if there is another one or how we can get a meal or two to Sandra and the kids.

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