moving forward

navigating through the life that was and moving into the life that is

Just Married – The Vows

on February 12, 2012

We read stories and watch movies with our children that teach them about this concept of “happily ever after”, in life and in marriage.  And why not? We don’t want to teach our children to prepare for the worst or prepare for disappointment.  But the truth is that everything does not end “Happily Ever After” and as adults are we going to have the tools to help our disillusioned children through this reality?  Forget children, are we going to have the tools to help our disillusioned selves get through?  The series at church has been a very interesting one to go through as a newly widowed individual.  The past 4 weeks have been the marriage series “Just Married: It’s Never Just Happily Ever After”

Here is the video lead into the service:

Here is the link to watch the messages when they become posted.  It will still be a few weeks because it has to finish at the other campuses.  http://12stone.com/experience/messages/video-archives/

I was very moved by PK’s discussion of our relationship with our heavenly Father. It is long lasting love. And we are blessed to have New Mercies and New Mornings everyday. God’s love for us is present, His love is unconditional.

Lamentations 3:22-24

22Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

But as people our relationships are not quite the same.  We have some great things to give each other, although not with God’s omniscience. But we also have weaknesses and shortcomings, and evil that trips us up. So as married people we have to give each other New Mercies and New Mornings too! The New Mercies are to Forgive the Wrong and the The New Mornings are to Fight for Right.  If you keep a record of wrongs in your marriage it will not be successful. Imagine if God kept a record of our wrongs?  Thank goodness He doesn’t. 🙂

Next PK talked about marriage vows and said, “we are delivering vows with our lips that we are not living in our lives.”

Let me repeat that  – “we are delivering vows with our lips that we are not living in our lives.”

SO he invited the married couples in the church to renew their vows today and I all but lost it.  I ended up having to ask the usher to bring me tissues.  I’m pretty sure this is one of the hardest times I have cried since Glen’s death.  But it really got me thinking about our vows and we wrote our own vows to say to each other and I would like to take this opportunity to share them.  Because the reason I felt like I was crying, beyond the obvious, was that we were so blessed to have had such an amazing marriage.  Now I know we had only been married for a few years but they were good years! And I wondered if they were good because we were actually living our vows.

Glen’s vows:

Wedding Vows

 

Today has finally arrived…our big day!

I should be mad at you…

For coming into my life and turning things upside down

 

For flashing that smile

That melts my heart

And makes me forget what I was saying…

 

Today God has blessed me with my most precious gift

I promise to stand proudly next to you

In good times (like when you beat my dad in dominos)

And in bad (like when you won’t let me watch Judge Mathis)

Today I will marry my best friend,
I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and to encourage you

Today I give myself to you in marriage.
I promise to cherish you, respect you, and to inspire you

Today, I should be mad at you…

But I’m just too busy,

Being in love with you

If you knew Glen well, you know these are in his classic style. Silly and light-hearted but at the end is the most important part, he could waste time being mad at me for all kinds of stuff, but in our marriage he was just too busy being in love with me. 🙂 As I have mentioned that is how he lived his life, always for the best.

Now as typical with women, mine are a little longer and a little more emotional but wonderful to me just the same. 🙂

One week…one week was all the time it took for us to realize that God brought us together for a reason.  Within days we began to see how we were uniquely designed for each other.

Through prayer and a devotion to understanding our place in each other’s lives…we have arrived at today.

Today…we continue our journey through life together.  I am both blessed and elated to be marrying my true companion.  You are the perfect complement to my life.

From the moment we met you have been nothing but considerate, generous, kind, and loving.  You have shown me how to be a better person and a better friend.  You have been patient with me.  Helped me through the tough times and laughed through the rest.  I am a better person for knowing you.

I promise…

To love you with all of me: mind, body, and soul.

To be your wife.

To walk side by side with you and share our lives as one.

When we first started dating you asked me “is this really what love is? If so I don’t want it to end.” I stand here today to tell you this IS love.  Our love.  And it is never-ending because with you I am in a place I want to stay forever. I love you.

The most interesting things about my vows is that I did not read or find them until a few weeks after the funeral and there were so many things that were the same as my eulogy at the funeral. We were clearly in a marriage where the vows that came from our lips were what was being lived in our lives.

There was a song performed the third week of the series that I would like to share.  Through the whole series, this song kind of solidified for me that Glen and I were in the type of marriage where we would not have given up on each other.

When I look into your eyes
It’s like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There’s so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you’ve come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space
To do some navigating
I’ll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

‘Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We’ve got a lot to learn
God knows we’re worth it
No, I won’t give up

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not
And who I am

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up
Still looking up.

I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up)
God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved)
God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)

I won’t give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I’m giving you all my love
I’m still looking up

 

 

 


4 responses to “Just Married – The Vows

  1. Sarah Kiesche says:

    Oh..my friend. As I sit here and contemplate my own life, my own relationship, and the issue of marriage…your post comes up in my reader and I am crying with you. I only hope to have the kind of marriage that you and Glen shared and I thank you for being such a strong and wonderful example during the hardest part of your life. Thank you my friend, for sharing your thoughts and feelings..even if it wasn’t directly to me. 🙂 Love you lady!

  2. Brenda says:

    Beautiful as always Sandra. I look at the blog almost daily to see what you have written, and I always feel moved and emotional. You have such a way with words and expressing yourself, I cannot help but be inspired by you.

  3. Monica says:

    Sandra,
    I am always in awe when I read your postings. You and Glen were truely in love. I also enjoyed PK’s discussion on our relationship with our Heavenly Father and in our own marriage.
    I always think of you and hope you are doing well. I enjoy seeing your wedding pictures, they are precious.

    God Bless,
    Monica Gillespie
    (Camerons Preschool Teacher) 🙂

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